The unofficial rules of the Marauders
by jennygiraffadil
Summary: The Marauders create a rulebook a way to make sure their friendship is preserved. But when it starts tearing them apart, when secrets start tearing them apart, is there more than meets the eye to the reason behind rule number one?


**Title:** The Unofficial Rules of the Marauders and the reasons they were made to be broken  
**Disclaimer:** I wish.  
**Pairing:** Remus/Sirius.  
**Summary:** The Marauders create a rulebook - a way to make sure their friendship is preserved. But when it starts tearing them apart, when secrets start tearing them apart, is there more than meets the eye to the reason behind rule number one?

_Rule #01: Secrets stay as secret._  
It wasn't until sixth year that they made them up - James, with a dictionary and a copy of Lily's classnotes, and it wasn't until sixth year that any of them were really mature enough to try and follow them, either. I'msoinlovewithher, and nobody was allowed to breathe a word. Peter's lips had slipped offtopic and Sirius had stuttered to save himself until it was inked carefully, innked invisibly, onto the back of the map.  
"Law." They'd all nodded. "Law."   
Repeated and repeated enough times to make them dizzy until it finally stuck.  
"It's like family. We need to trust each other."  
Sirius nodded, Sirius grinned, Sirius provided the spellwork to keep it all hidden. And Remus was there, barely a glance away, barely a footstep away.  
He almost said it, thethingnobodycanknow, he almost ruined himself until it showed up in thick black marker and he felt a shudder of relief creep down his spine at being reminded.

_Rule #02: Friends come first._  
They all made additions, they all changed parts. They discussed it, sometimes, behind thick red curtains or between classes or thisistootightasqueeze in new passages, behind old ones. It didn't matter, but they all had reasons. And it was considered. And taken note of. It was just a part of them.  
Remus had cornered Peter after Herbology, dirt smeared cheeks from rerooting mandrakes - fingers pressing against his face and everyone had been silent. It matched his eyes, Sirius had told Lily - 'hush, hush, he'll get embarrassed' - but Peter just looked past his shoulders instead.  
"We need to make number two." he said, a little too solemnly, and he was almost blushing. He was almost refusing to talk. "Friends come first."  
Friends come first. And it had turned out in green cursive with exclamation points. James scratched it out. '_Marauders_ come first!' he changed it to and they all shared hidden grins.  
'Friends come first' Remus reminded himself when Sirius held hands with Anna Whitelowe all the way to the Astronomy Tower. But the way they disappeared onto the observation deck caught him writing it over and over that night, by wandlight, after dark. Just to be sure, he told himself, just to be sure he knew his place.

_Rule #03: A tie is to be placed on the dormitory door if one is 'entertaining'._  
Whilst it hadn't been as attached as the others, James had deemed it necessary. "Nobody wants to see that." he scrunched up his face, "Nobody wants to know about that." And it had been Sirius who started it all. A kiss behind the greenhouse and he'd told the world. A bit of a fondle under robes, a hand tugging at his zipper, teeth against his neck - she had been pretty at least, even Remus admitted that. High brows, he said, and downy lips. She had been pretty enough and James had heard it all.  
siriusharder. siriusmore. ohyes. Tangled sheets around hearts and legs and achingaching. Hips pressed against mattresses with the curtains wide open. Her shirt was still on but that had been enough. "Number three." he had told Sirius after fleeing down the stairs with wide eyes, "And no arguments."  
Remus agreed wholeheartedly but only when he saw the look Sirius was giving Joanna Westerley behind him. He was still fully grateful for number one.

_Rule #04: If any disagreement is to take place between two parties, a mutual party is not, under any circumstances, to get involved._  
He'd broken up with her. They'd all seen it. And she had, it turned out, been perfectly lovely with only everything she'd said left to lose. Sirius. It had been about Sirius. Or the way she'd pressed her hand to Remus's thigh under the table by mistake. Or her lips to Remus's cheek 'accidentally' in the dark. "Would you help me with my Transfiguration?" she'd asked and he had said yes. Then Sirius had walked in with Remus's trousers past his hips and it had been allsoverywrong.  
"You're a liar, Lupin." he'd shouted, "You're a fucking dirty liar."  
Her lipstick was still pressed on his collar and his pulse hurt - physicallyhurt - echoing shallow thumps of how he had messed it up without trying. She'd - she was nice, she was very nice, but she thought he was too. He'd smiled. He'd spoken to her. Everything Sirius had tried so hard at. Everything Sirius had asked Remus for advice on and she - her - the girl - she'd broken them both by dragging her teeth along pristine white folds and dripdripdrips of almost love. Chocolate, she'd smiled, chocolate. And it'd all been too much. He was in over his head. She was in in over hers.  
"I can't believe you." Sirius had yelled and James had ended up with the black eye and bruised ribs.  
Remus didn't cry that night but he wrote a very long letter to his mother about how, sometimes, he just wanted to go home.  
She asked if she could come get him the very next day but Dumbledore had smiled through the hot blue flames.  
"I assure you this will all, what's the word - oh yes, _blow over_ very soon."

_Rule #05: All arguments, or disagreements, or to be talked out before more drastic action is involved._  
They still weren't talking but Sirius climbed into his bed in the middle of the night, nonetheless. Remus wasn't fully aware other than an arm encircling his waist and the covers being kicked down his legs, right to the bottom sometimes. He'd wake up, before his alarm, he'd wake up suddenly freezing with an indent in the pillow beside him and no blankets.  
"ohgodimissyou" Sirius wanted to say, "ithadnothingtodowithher" but it all came out a mumble in his head and he couldn't get it past his lips in anything but a stutter of anger and a sharp nudge, or a kick, or a smack.  
"I'm sorry." Remus told him eventually, glancing up at the wrong time to bed-ridden hair and toobigeyes, "I'm sorry for whatever I did but you know, Sirius, you _know_ what happened."  
"Rule number one." he shrugged the, staring at the floor, following the trace of small red lions on the undersheet of the bed linens - shaping his lips into a small, firm knot. And trying not to speak.  
"Rule number one?" Remus asked in a whisper.  
"This is all James's fault. I'm so sorry."

_Rule #06: All physical contact between two parties is to be administred only in the presence of another mutual associate._  
They hadn't hugged exactly, much less 'kissed and made up' but it had been the firewhisky. The butterbeer. The veritaserum tripping them over their tongues, their hands, yespleaselikethat. It had been an hour before dawn when Remus tumbled through the door with a stack of books and Sirius's arms had flung around him with enough force to send his lips quirking down into a scowl. "Get off you big mutt." he laughed and next time it had been James.  
It had lasted too long, Remus thought, it had been too intimate. They were talking, slurring, theproblemwithyouthtoday - it hadn't meant anything, he tried to talk himself into it, it hadn't meant a thing. Lily. Of course it was Lily. James's head was in his hands and then Sirius's arms were around him. Not patting, not rubbing his back, just around him and the dark glow and the almost silence - Remus watched but felt as if a bubble had been suddenly erected around the two of them. A bubble of another completely different life that he, Remus, Moony, he was just an outsider and they didn't even know his name.  
"There, there, mate." Peter had said awkwardly and patted him on the shoulder but Sirius had _hugged_ him - _held_ him.  
And the way the door slammed behind Remus hadn't been intentional but it had broke them apart all the same.  
"It's such a stupid rule." James had muttered under his breath before looking curiously at the flush spreading across Remus's cheeks, anger, he thought at first, before the shy eyes refused to look at Sirius. Nononowait. "It's such a stupid rule but I think I have a better one." he said and crossed out number one.

_Rule #01-B: Secrets stay as secret unless they're a matter of life or death._  
"Remus, a word." he'd said, and they were locked in the dormitory. He was sure, almostfuckingdearpositive, he knew the other two were trying to listen in but James assured him they would hear nothing but white noise. Static. His dad was a big muggle television fan, he explained, his dad was - a _dad_. And it all made sense then.  
"This isn't about your furry little problem." he clarified at once, pointing sharply to the purple ink scratched hastily on parchment, "This is about you, but is a rather different secret I think it would be in you best interest to share."  
Remus said nothing, he thought, right then, it was probably in his '_best interest_' to let James wait it out instead. Talk it out. Think.  
"You - come on." he sighed, "It's not the end of the world. It's not a big deal. You're gay."  
And Remus paused, his lips parted. It's not, he reasoned, like he could have done anything but nod. It was, he thought too, so perfectly executed. 'Would you like some tea? How about some butterscotch? A lovely cock?' and he wanted to scream or hide at his own stupid analogy.  
"Yes." he added a moment later as confirmation, "But it doesn't mean --"  
"And this person, they're your life. So I changed it for you. Now you have to tell him."  
Remus stuttered, paused and James shook his head.  
"In case I didn't make myself clear, a matter of _life or death_. They're your life, you tell them, or uh - something involving me and death. I just liked that it sounded eerie."   
"Right." Remus nodded having no intention of breaking the original Rule Number One at all. He took a deep breath anyway until the cold air hit the back of his throat and he nearly choked, "Right."

_Rule #07: If one party starts developing feelings that could be viewed by mutual associates as 'non-platonic' he is to inform other parties closesly associated. Or become more practised at Silencing Charms._  
James had heard. James had heard again. He didn't march over but he waited until morning when Peter and Remus went down to breakfast early.  
"uh - something you want to tell me, Pads?" he asked, crouching on the corner of Sirius's bed where the blankets were rolled up in a knot of red and cream and gold.  
"Not particularly?"   
They didn't look at each other but Sirius knew. The look in James's eyes, the way his brow creased - he knew.  
But he stayed quiet, stayed hidden, biting on his bottom lip.  
"You like Remus."  
"Yes."  
James just smiled in a way Sirius, then, would have described as 'too cheery'.  
"Excellent!"

_Rule #08: All parties of the name Sirius Black are to inform all parties of the name Remus Lupin they would very much like to shag them. Desperately. Please._  
James had made it dark black and bold and they had all been gathered round when he said he had the perfect rule. He said he'd had an ephiphany and almost all of them had groaned before moving to kneel anyway - curiosity. Curiosity and adolescent boys.  
"Excuse me?" Remus had exclaimed when he saw it, his cheeks bright red and a hand roughing up his hair. Yes, James knew, yes, he was definitely flustered.  
"What?" Sirius glared.

_Rule #09: All parties under the alias James Potter are hereby banned from negating rules._  
Both of their ideas really, albeit shy smiles and hands that almost but never quite managed to touch during the writing process. Sirius's knee pressed against Remus's thigh when they were standing up though, but that didn't mean anything.

_Rule #10: The world does not, under any circumstances, revolve solely around Sirius Black._  
"What?" Sirius hissed, slamming the door behind him as he stomped angrily into the room after a glowering Remus. "_What?_" and neither of them dared look at one another, "How does this even _involve me_?"   
He tried to calm his voice, to calm his breathing and his heartrate and the frantic way his shoes kept tapping against the ground. He tried to watch Sirius out of the corner of his eye but couldn't look away from the ink stains on the floor curling into lips and eyes and faces and sometimes, just barely hearts.  
It had been a girl, of course, it had been a girl and Lily Evans and everything and nothing. And nobody had even said a word.  
"Don't you get it by now?" Remus ground out between his teeth eventually, his shoulders turning sharply to face Sirius, moving towards him, "Don't you _get it_? Everything is about bloody _you_!"  
There was a sharp inhale of breathe then. A sharp hiss of hands or legs or hips hitting wood and neither of them knew who had dared make the noise. Sirius, shocked back into the door or Remus, surprised he said anything at all, never mind the truth.  
"It - well - um - wow." Sirius mumbled, "Wow."  
And Remus's hand was on his chest, in his shirt, tugging and pulling and _twisting_.  
"All the time. It's just - it's just _you._" he sighed and James shouted up the stairs just before their lips met.

_Rules #11 to #122: James Potter must develop appropriate judgement before he is allowed the colour of his pubic hair to return to normal._

_Rules #123 - #137: Sirius Black is a right wanker._

_Rule #138: Remus Lupin is to fall in love with Sirius Black before the end of term._  
It didn't snow but they smiled anyway, knee-deep in rain at Hogsmeade station. Remus had a hat pulled low under a hood and Sirius's hair was plastered to his skin.  
"So--" he started, shuffling his feet awkwardly.  
"So --" Remus mumbled, looking away.  
It was clumsy, and draining, and wet but they kissed then. Surrounded in the buzz of students and parents and - whatwilltheprofessorssay? - a waterproof jacket and old boots pressed firmly against expensive denim. Sirius's hand fastened deftly under the knot in Remus's tie and pulled him, through puddles and past squelching feet (his hands, ohgodyes, still touching, still aching) around the corner. Pushed up against a barrier, a brick wall behind them. And he kissed him again. He kissed him like he'd wanted to since that first rule was meant to be broken. Damp shirts rubbed together, damp skin. Buttons and zips and - ahmorepleaseohfuckremus. Perfect, it wasn't perfect, but they fit.  
"It really is all about you." Remus whispered against Sirius's neck, "All about bloody you."  
And they laughed.


End file.
